Day 16. training day 12

Masakatsu Agatsu: (True victory is victory over oneself)

I have heard instructors often say, "Don't spend so much time trying to move your opponent, just move yourself." Synthesized: I am not in control of others, I can less affect others than I can myself. The ego struggle involved in attempting to move others is wasted energy.

Self mastery is not only about getting better at aikido, or being more fit, but rather it is an opportunity to reveal the shadows by which I might act; to shed light on less functional motives.

We all have an enemy of sorts in ourselves. Our parents, our peers, our traumatic experiences, all influencing our actions and reactions. We have fears, preconceived notions, and prejudices which limit our experience of the world around us and guide us down a path toward self fulfilled prophecy.

Many of us have a disconnect related to this. We have a ‘firewall' of sorts which can be constant or triggered by some sort of stimulus. This disconnect can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. What many of us are not conscious of, is that our very being is dynamic in its existence. Our body is our mind is our soul. These fears, notions, traumas, and prejudices manifest and have crossovers in the analogy of body-mind-spirit which is one entity. Our physical brain reacts to spirituo-emotional experiences and releases neurotransmitters which send out messages through the tendrils we call nerves which virtually cover the entirety of our body. Our body responds and in turn affects the environment in which we live. This feed forward causes our environment to reciprocate in some fashion. This reciprocation or feedback is a mirror of our affect. This mirror effect is a gift, but it is up to us to take this gift and apply the lesson functionally. We must choose conscious interaction, unconscious reaction, or some facsimile that is our best effort.

What can we do to reach a more clear state of being which allows us to see beyond these affects? Masakatsu Agastsu. It is about finding that path; the victory of authenticity in consciousness and action. The victory is of presence and understanding the elements in the moment for what they are and not what we fear or project that they will be.

The Aiki-facet of Masakatsu Agatsu relates to our agendas, fears, prejudices, and decisions within the martial/peaceful diapason of our interaction with our fellow Aikidoka, and as individuals in training. To overcome fears, biases and ego is to reach victory. The true challenge lies in the assessment of our intentions, to find out which are going to propel us forward and which will hold us back. The potential to send us farther down our own dysfunctional path through the guise of betterment is great. The possibility, for example, for one to continue self abuse or an over exaggerated need for control can cause us to unconsciously misuse the want to be more conscious. How do I know that I am making the right decision, taking the right action? That place where the proverbial rubber hits the road is the question with infinite answers. The process and path to take is made in a vehicle which must be tuned and retuned with each turn by an imperfect pilot. That is Masakatsu Agatsu.

Training started today at 4:40pm with the childrens class, as it does every Monday and Wednesday. I spent most of my day preparing for a meeting and relaxing. As childrens class was drawing closer and about to start, I was approached by Sensei. She told me that I could take the day off from childrens class as there were only three kids in class and she would use the older uchideshis to help her. I didnt mind sitting out and actually needed the time to catch up on some things I was working on. That hour or so went by rather quickly and soon it was time for the beginners class taught by Ben. It was a good class, nothing much different from the other classes. Although, he did talk alot of using "koshi" or our center. He says it is not our arms we use for the techniques but rather our hips. He does not like the term hips and likes to refer to it as koshi. I noticed I was using more of my body to demonstrate the techniques but after some quick lessons from Sempai Ben I was using my center more. I was anxious to learn the techniques but I feel I am going at a good pace. After the beginners class was the advanced class. This class is taught by Sensei as usual. We did some more advanced techniques today and some that I had never done before. Also, today marked another milestone for one our members who used to be a uchideshi, Eric. Eric tested for his 3rd kyu today as Nick did a couple of days ago. He passed with flying colors, as did Nick, and we were all happy to see his accomplishment. All in all, another great day at the dojo.

Since beginning as a uchideshi, I have been very interested in the meaning of "ki", among many other things. But whats interesting and different about "ki" is that there is no definitive or clear meaning. It is used heavily in Aikido, as the meaning of Aikido is "the way of harmony of ki". There have been many books written on the meaning of "ki" and here of some excerpts from a few.
Saito Sensei discusses "ki" briefly in his book "Traditional Aikido".
"Ki: the vital force of the body. Through Aikido training, the ki of a person can be drawn in increasing amount from the universe. In practice, ki is directed before body movement takes place."

In his later work, Saito Sensei mentions: "Aikido, its heart and appearance" where one "causes partner's ki to flow out (fluid)" and "calling out your partner's ki and linking it to yours".

Yoshimitsu Yamada sensei, refers to the meaning as "the power of the spirit of the mind that we all possess but which we use only on rare occasion".

As Shioda sensei wrote, "They (martial arts) must not become mere intellectual exercises, the fundamental budo 'conduct' must not be treated lightly, and the 'way of technique' must not be neglected as a form of spiritual and physical training". He wished to emphasize the idea that the essence of Aikido - ki - would express itself to those who practice and follow basic techniques diligently.

Homma Sensei wrote the following in his book, "Aikido for Life".
"The word ki is made of two letters, 'k' and 'i' nothing more. Of course you know how difficult it is to undestand something that can only be imagined. Some try to describe this thing that doesn't exist by letting their explanations drift into the realm of mystery. The mystery of ki has been deceiving many students"

Homma sensei devoted the whole second chapter, in Aikido for Life, to the discussion of ki, which he believes does not exist. To Homma sensei, ki has no color, shape nor weight and cannot be shown by ki believer simply due to the fact that ki as a physical entity does not exist. Homma sensei himself however, does not come up with the definition of ki himself as it seems not to be within the scope of his book. Instead, he urges one to dicsover ki "through daily practice inside and outside the dojo" but not "adopting another's definition blindly." Aikido according to Homma sensei is the "training of the mind" which expresses itself through breathing. When one's mind, body movement, and breathing is in harmony with the surroundings, one experiences the true meaning of Aiki.

Terry Dobson sensei received the mission from O'Sensei to spread the spirit of Aikido to his people when he was one of Kaiso's last uchi deshi's. His life was the proof for the fulfillment of that promise as he refers to himself as a "ki mechanic". His only written work left is "Aikido in Everyday Life". In this book Dobson Sensei refers to the one point "where one should be living ... it is the 'organ' which can sense attack faster than the intellect." This one point, according to Dobson sensei, is the protective spirit, ki, which is employed in unraisable body exercise. But ki also is one's "connection to all life, time, and space; nowness; and energy"